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#1Loss and Hope
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/11/opinion/sunday/loss-and-hope.html?_r=1&ref=editorials
In this article the author uses many of the DIDLS techniques to prove his point about the effects of 9/11. The use of syntax is seen in this article when the author says "as much hope as grief, as much love as anger,"(NYT). In this quote, you can clearly see that the author purposely places the good part in the beginning followed by the negative opposite, as a contrast to get his point across more effectively. Diction is also very evident in this article. This article is very short and so in order to get his point across effectively, every word that the author uses is a strong adjective or verb. Some examples of the words that the author uses includes "enormous," "heartfelt," "xenophobia," "resilience," "juncture," (NYT). These are just a few of the very strong words that the author uses to set across a very powerful, serious tone. Also, along with syntax and diction, the author also uses a strong language in this article to get the serious tone across to the audience. He uses serious language that gives a serious tone to the article. He achieve this with words and phrases such as "Our civic life is tainted by a rise in xenophobia that betrays our best ideals."(NYT) Through this kind of language you can identify that this is a political piece that is very serious because it is talking about a very serious topic. Like we discussed in class, this author effectively uses many of the DIDLS techniques to properly achieve the tone that he wants to that is appropriate for this article.
1. You lack a thesis that offers your recognition of the use of techniques and how they culminate to effectively convey this piece of writing.
ReplyDelete2. Your essay is devoid of any warrants in support of your evidence. There is no proper structure and organization.
3. You need to improve on forming a thesis rather than merely restating the purpose of the piece of writing. Your job is to bring in you own perspective and weigh that against the author's point of view.
4. Your whole essay consisted of mainly plot summary that showed no analysis on your part towards achieving a deeper understanding of the work.
5. Your essay is not formal in structure, a format necessary to effectively portray your perspective on the author's comments.
You have some really good ideas as far as the techniques the author uses to make his point! You have good examples and provide appropriate evidence that support your arguments and are very convincing.
ReplyDeleteI would consider working on the organization of your essay. An introduction, though probably brief for this specific topic, would add a lot by pointing the reader in the direction of your essay. I would also split up your body paragraphs so that the ideas are clear and separated, which lets the reader focus more on your analysis and examples. A clear, concise topic sentence could also contribute effectively because the reader would be able to understand what the paragraph is about and spend the time reading each paragraph on your interesting arguments and specific examples. You did well overall, just consider organizing it a little differently!
Also, the font is kind of hard to read. Maybe change it to something simple like Times New Roman!
I like your point regarding brevity and strength of verbs and adjectives, it fits right in with the little quirks of syntax we are learning and our previous discussions about diction. Your application of language to tone is also good. Your structure confuses me and I don't like the font. The structure in particular could be modified to draw clearer distinctions between your ideas.
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